2010-04-05: We're in
Midland. Mum's not doing well and we're sitting with her at the
I've almost finished reading
Beyond Einstein. Great book if you want a comprehensive albeit brief
description of what physicists have struggled through in thought for the
last several hundred years.
2010-03-30: Freaky day
today. I felt like hell and slept like a dead man until after
noon. It was yummy and I'm feeling a bit refreshed. Back to
work tomorrow though. I didn't have any meetings scheduled today
so I didn't worry about work at least.
Ike is sick, cathy is sick, I can't tell if I'm sick or not.
I flew the cp around a bit tonight without much success. I'm going
to have to spend some time on the simulator to figure it out.
It was a weird night. Mum called us accidentally from her cell
phone. She's okay. Then Dory ran out the back gate because I
didn't shut it right. She ran around like a crazy dog and it
was a bit of an adrenaline nightmare for a few minutes. She
finally ran up to cat and cat was to get dory back in the yard.
Cat spent a long time making a complicated Mexican food dish (It was
stuffed Anaheim peppers) but dory tripped her and cat dropped the plates
on our glass coffee table. It scared us both real bad.
2010-03-29: Back to work
today. Worried about mum.
I put a few minutes of flight time on the helo today. Damn, that's
not easy to fly at all. I spent about 30 minutes doing repairs. I
had to change out the main rotor blades. I'm not sure how much
that cost but it's much less than $500 bucks per flight. I think it must
have cost about 5 bucks.
I'm even more impressed with r/c helo pilots now. That's a weird
thing to try to understand. I was able to do an uncontrolled hover
for a couple of seconds. I did it several times. I just made
it hop around a bit.
2010-03-27: I just
watched a news story about an 80-something year-old woman named Viola
that has terminal cancer and when asked if there was something she
wanted to do said, "I want to jump out of an airplane." Well she
did and she had a great time and it was very touching to see that story.
I'm in Midland tonight. Mum and dad are asleep and I'm chattin on
IM (yahoo actually) with cat. I had a strange day. I walked
about a mile away to
The Bar for lunch. It was excellent however I had to walk a
mile back to the house afterwards. It was an absolute beautiful
day in West Texas today. That made it pretty cool. But now my
right hip is shot.
The boundary error in my rotation project has been corrected.
Actually it wasn't a boundary problem but a common problem with
object-oriented programming. I was manipulating the same point
more than once because the same point was in more than one line-segment.
All of these objects; points, lines, shapes are made of components that
are themselves objects. (i.e. A 'cube' is made out of 'lines' and
'lines' are made out of 'points'.) On the new shapes I've been
playing with, some of the points are shared between more than one
line-segment. When my algorithm rotated the points, the ones that
were shared were rotated more than once because they were shared between
more than one line. In fact once for each segment. So the
shape was being distorted by the transformations in a weird way. I
fixed it by adding a flag; a flag for each coordinate of each point.
That flag says that this point has already been rotated around this
axis, so don't do it again if it's shared between multiple segments.
I was happy that it fixed the problem but it slowed the algorithm down
2010-03-24: Just a day at
the office today. Nothing special.
Our German Sheppard's name is Dory now.
I've ordered new parts for the CP helo. It's tail rotor is messed
Spent some time tonight working on my projections program. I'm
making some progress but do see a problem with some of the shapes I've
downloaded. The rotational math seems to be introducing some sort
of distortion in the results. It's interesting to watch because it
animates the shape and over time, the shape starts to distort. I
think it could easily be a
boundary-error but the more simple objects work perfectly so perhaps
it's a problem with the math or the precision of java doubles.
I'm not enough of a java dude to be able to easily check out exactly
what's happening. I know there's a debugger and at my peak I would
have jumped right in there and started trying to figure out exactly what
is going on. But I'm 48 now and I don't even do this for a living
anymore. I have lots of other things to figure out and all I can
hope for is being able to catch a ride on this wave for a few hours at a
It would be pretty cool to suck into that particular ride for a month or
two. Awwwww... Some day I will retire or hit the lotto or
2010-03-22: Beca is
writing me emails. That's pretty fun. Her brain is
interested in writing an
I've had that same thought before but I'm so lazy I can't make it
happen. I write lots of words all the time. I can't seem to
make myself write a book and I think beca can.
I surprised cat and ike at the vet today. I knew there was an
11:30 appointment so I drove over there at lunch, walked in and told the
lady that I was looking for my wife and my
Rottweiler. I think he's doing well. He has a cold or
2010-03-21: Today was a
nice lazy day. It wasn't lazy for cat. She was busy doing laundry
and wiping Ike's nose (He has a cold or something). I tried to fly
my little helicopter today but I I've damaged the tail rotor. I'm
ordering new parts tomorrow.
I got an email from
today. How cool is that! I told him that me and cat are
wanting tats with an inversion of our initials. Those are called
Ambigrams. He wrote
me a nice personal email. It was very cool.
I've not thought about physics much lately.
2010-03-13: We had great
friends come over today. Lots of activity and craziness. Ren
and Kathy came over; she's just gotten her left knee replaced and is
moving a bit slow. She'll be up and running very soon. Stuka
got out of an open door while I was away and we almost lost her. A
nice man talking on a cell phone grabbed her and all was well; except
for the grey hairs. Cindy and her daughter, Kiara came over and it
was a pretty fun time. The kiddos drove us all crazy and
everything was perfectly fine.
I love the sound of the quietness right now. 11:15pm
Einstein's Birthday, 2010.
2010-03-13: We drove to
Wichita Falls today, met Steve and Jessee and picked up the kiddos.
Amanda and Cody are here for a visit this week. I hooked up the Wii and grilled burgers tonight. We watched an animated movie
called Up that was pretty good actually.
We've got this new
German Sheppard. Her name was
Iris, then we started calling her
Now she is named
and I think the name has stuck.
2010-03-12: I updated the
Projections page with the source code for
the Rotate demo. It's starting to look good. I'll keep
adding and hopefully I'll put the class files there and you'll be able
to run the demo on your computer.
2010-03-11: I got my new
helo yesterday. I can't really play with it because I said that the helo
was My gift from cat and the index-finger ring she has on layaway is her
gift from Me. She must get her ring before I get to play with My helo.
So while I'm waiting, I'm going to get an aluminum carrying case from
I'm going to have to study this thing too. It's a freakishly
2010-03-10: I'm posting
some stuff about my 3-dimensional rotation program written in java
tonight. It seems to be working well and it's been a struggle. But
it's a good working demo of 3d projections. Just the words
tonight. In the days to come I will post the code.
I received my new r/c helo today. I haven't tried to fly it yet.
2010-03-06: Lots of
things happening just now. Mel and her Husband, Barry, are in the
hospital. I wont go into the details because it's
a rather private thing.
I'm exchanging emails with Melody's mum, Lue. It's a nice
Mum is comfortable although she gets tired easily. I didn't talk
to her on the phone today and I think her sister, Erne, flew back to
Florida today. I'm sure that was a hard departure.
spooky has been not feeling well and we haven't had a chance to chat in
a few days. Get well soon My love.
I bought an
r/c helicopter on
ebay today. It's a good deal compared to buying a new one.
I ordered parts from
Yesterday I burned a downloaded copy of Einstein's, "Relativity:
The Special and the General Theory". There's a very cool site
that Stevo told me about.
Project Gutenberg has lots of books that you can download for free.
So I left work a bit early last night, popped in the Einstein cd and
listened to the first 15 minutes of it. I've read this book about
12 times. I don't know if it's the way that the German language is
or the fact that he thought in a very complex manner, but Dr. Einstein
is a hard dude to understand. He wrote in 100 word sentences with
compounded "and's" and "therefore's". It makes me want to draw
Karnaugh map's to figure out the implications of what he's saying.
So 15 minutes into this cd on the drive home, the cd player crapped out
and powered completely off. I had to reset the clock. Now
that cd is stuck in my non-cd player. The radio still works
2010-03-01: We received
word that my cousin Melody and her husband were involved in a bad wreck.
They drive a long haul big rig all around the country and I'm afraid
they've had a really bad crash and are severely injured. I don't
have many details but our thoughts and prayers are with their whole
family. Melody is the daughter Lue. Lue is the sister of
Jimmy, Clyde, and Teddy Lee who just paid us a visit.
Our last day and night here in Midland started with me taking Isabelle
to the vet for x-rays at 8:30 this morning. Then me and cat had
eye doctor appointments and the bastard dilated our eyes. So we
walked around with blown eyes all day. Luckily it was cloudy.
It rained all night last night.
We stumbled into La Bodega at 12:30 for lunch figuring that by the time
we finished eating our eyes would be back to normal. That didn't
work and the food was a bit off today. It's okay. Sometimes
that happens. Either our "tasters" were off or their food was off today.
We visited tonight and I played my banjo for mum, aunt erne and cat.
I tried to play yesterday for everyone but had an onset of stage-fright
or something and couldn't play at all. There were too many
important people in the room I imagine. I could play much better
We had burgers from Bob's tonight. cat had the steak fingers.
Damn, I miss that food. It was wonderful.
Tomorrow we head back to Dallas.
2010-02-27: What an
interesting day it was today. Clyde and Teddy Lee stopped by for a
visit. Their wives Phyllis and Teresa are a hoot. We all
piled up in the RV with the kids and made a Wal-Mart run. It's
been a long time since I've had a chance to spend time to Clyde and
Teddy. Teddy was my boss when I worked for Furr's at the produce
distribution warehouse. He told me today that I was a good worker
back then but I know he was just being kind. I hated that job.
It was by far the most physical thing I've ever had to do. It kicked
my ass. That durn cuz of mine assigned me and this big dude the
chore of unloading this truck full of potatoes. 100 pound burlap
sacks. I used to be pissed off at Teddy for making
me do that but now I think that Angel was probably the one more pissed
off. He pretty much had to unload that whole truck by himself.
The first bag I tried to pick up didn't even move. Then I started
picking it up sort of how you'd have to pickup an injured person.
You know... "I'll put my left hand under here and my right arm
under here." Then I lifted up and it didn't move at all.
About that time some dumbass yelled "Be sure and use your knees!
You can hurt your back like that." I think that was Teddy but I'm
sure he'd waved the whole bay over to this truck to watch the skinny
computer nerd try to lift 100-pound sacks of potatoes. So anyone
could have yelled it. As I recall I was able to be of "some" help.
I loved the ones on top of the stack but hated the sacks on the floor of
the tailor. It seems like that always happened when the stack on
the pallet was stacked high.
2010-02-26: Were in
Midland tonight. We left Dallas about 11:30 and got here about
5:30. Aunt Erne is here visiting mum so we sat around and talked
2010-02-25: What a weird
thing it is to live so far away from home. That sentence doesn't
even make sense because this is my home here. I love West Texas
though. It's in my genetic makeup.
I read an interesting chapter in the book I'm reading about quantum
physics (go figure).
2010-02-24: When I was
young and my first wife and I were living at the cabin, sometimes I
would lay on the roof of the house and look for satellites. I was
a bit obsessed with it of course so I had a little notebook and wrote
down every time I saw one. I was hoping to establish some pattern
where as I could predict exactly when to look up and see one.
Here's a little article that explains
looking for satellites.
Heading to Midland soon.
night last night. Steve stayed the night and I loved the
experience. We talked about crazy stuff all night. At 1am he
had me boiling water on the stove to check the boiling point of water
here as compared to there (Amarillo). For the record it boils at
205 in amarillo (He knows that for sure because he's an alcohol maker.)
and it boils at 210 here. Now I have to figure out the altitude
difference. I've asked spooky and Don to boil water and report the
results back to me. I haven't a clue what spooky's elevation is
but Don is in Houston. He's at sea level so the result should be
212 degrees F. We'll see.
2010-02-18: Long day at
work. It's actually just been long and arduous.
2010-02-15: Cat's knee is
doing well. We went to the doc and he glanced down and said she
looked better than he thought she would after less than a week out of
McMurray is on
2010-02-13: Lots of stuff
going on here.
Cat's had knee surgery. It was elective and she's recovering
My mum is slowing down and I think about her 24-7.
We got a foot of snow, day before yesterday, and I did a bunch of
doughnuts in a pristine parking lot in front of the hospital at 6am
whilst taking my wife to the hospital for knee surgery.
For some reason I haven't been getting ANY email for the last 3 or 4
I haven't heard from Don. That's unusual.
I chatted with spooky last night but not tonight. That's unusual
because the Daytona 500 is tomorrow and we usually cuss and discuss
about the goings-on there.
I wish some of those Porter's in Midland would email me. I miss
them and haven't even heard from Caity lately.
2010-02-07: The saints
won the super duper bowl tonight.
Don sent me a very brilliant link to a NASA place that has
panoramic photos of the Apollo missions.
I've heard from spooky. She's getting along.
2010-02-05: It's been a
few days since I wrote anything here. It's just been a long week
at work. I haven't been doing anything fun at all except watch
American Idol. §
I've posted a bunch of new
links on the main page. I had a chance to actually play around
on the net a bit and found some interesting stuff. §
Don's feeling better (He's been sick apparently although I suspect he's
been just laying around developing his helicopter flying skills.
Spooky's been doing nothing but working lately. I hope we get to
chat soon. The
Shoot-Out is tomorrow night. I love that race. I've not spoken
to Marilyn for several days now. I should go into
Second Life tonight and see how she is.
Time to watch tv....
2010-01-31: Well I
couldn't get my
puli website updated tonight dammit. I've changed laptops and
my ftp password ddint work so I changed it and they said it would take
affect in 30 minutes but apparently that didn't happen. I'll fix
it tomorrow. §
Leon Hale tonight. You'll have to click on "home"
to find his most recent articles. Look down toward the bottom where I
post links I've been going too. §
It sounds like Chris and Ree are going to Vegas in February. He
said it to me when I talked to him on the phone on his birthday and mum
said something about it tonight when I talked to her. They bought
mum and dad new telephones. (Landlines, not "cell") Mum loves
2010-01-28: Tomorrow is
brother's birthday. He's 6 years older than me. I will
call him tomorrow. We haven't talked in a while.
2010-01-26: David sent me
a link to
the r/c airplane I want.
The thing I like about it is that with the radios they have these days,
you can make as mild or as wild as you want. I still haven't finished that
damn back storm door nor have I cleaned up my garage. I will soon.
2010-01-25: Back to work
today. I'm about to have to hunker down and do a bunch of work on
a proposal for a new software module.
2010-01-24: I was lazy
today and just sat around and watched tv. There's more to that
story that I reveal. Today was a WONDERFUL day. §
I've been watching sports. I hate it that the
today. They were the better team but they beat themselves with
I've been watching AMA
supercross the last few weeks. I guess I'm itchy waiting for
Daytona. Back in high school there was this dude named John
Myers that ran the local
motocross series. He did very well and me and him got along
great so we'd swap motorcycle stories. About 10 years ago or so he
called me up out of the blue and said he was at some bar in midland.
Me an cat went there and I saw John for the first time in 20 or so
years. He told me that night that he'd been following
Moto250. He said that he'd noticed those guys do the same
thing in the corners (blocking and such) as he did whenever he was in
motocross. I'd never even noticed the corner work, so now I'm
hyper-sensitive to it. The last couple of weeks I've seen some
great motocross racing. Especially noting the corner-work, I
watched last week as
James Stewart had a terrible crash in the supercross event.
He's young, so I didn't worry too much about him. I damn sure
watched him today though. He did well. I even hear the names
of some of the guys I watched when I was a pup, like
Roger Decoster. It's a trip.
2010-01-23: Don called me
today and sucked me right up out of a nap. I love naps so it
wasn't something I was happy about. Saturday afternoons are
perfect for napping ya know. I have to say it was a grand
conversation though; much better than taking a nap anyway. He's a
bit "opinionated". That's okay because I am as well. So him
and I can talk all damn day long and be entertained simply by listening
to each other's opinions. No one else has that luxury (except for
cat.) He's my friend and we have some "thing". He's knows
that I'm an idiot and I know he is too. But in our regular lives
we are both able to pull it off in a fashion that mitigates our own
We both worry about the same things at least.
Conan is interesting tonight; perhaps tomorrow night too. I
saw a Lotus
today at the
2010-01-19: Nothing to
2010-01-16: I installed a
storm door today. I didn't get finished however. I've got to
figure out how to drill an opening for the key-lock assembly. My
moto-tool will have to be utilized to do that. It's been a fun
project and it will be cool to be able to open the back door and let
some air in the house.
See, if I can do this and then finish building the drawers for my
work-bench and clean out the garage, then put all of my old r/c stuff up
for action on eBay, I'll be able to get back in the r/c airplanes.
So far my plan is working ;-) => But now
that I'm thinking about it I've got a few words to say about the actual
door that we purchased. It's manufactured by a company called
Anderson Windows and Doors. The one we got is a 3000 series
(24106) with the retractable insect screen. I've gone in and out
of the door several times now and it seems to be a well constructed
nicely heavy door. But damn, they could have pre drilled some of
the holes and machined out the space where the key lock assembly goes.
It needs a drill about and eighth of an inch bigger than my 1/2 drill
will provide and I've had to resort to using my
Dremel Mototool to grind out it out to the size I need. It's
slow work and it got dark so I had to stop. What an easy thing it
would have been for them to pre-machine that opening. I'll work on
it more tomorrow after the
2010-01-15: It's 2 weeks
Dayton Speed Weeks starts. I heard that the
restrictor plates are going to be larger and they are going to
replace the rear wings on the
COT with a spoiler. §
I'm looking at the
Dallas R/C Club
tonight. I will start inventorying my old r/c stuff and put it all
up for auction on eBay
in order to fund this little idea I have. §
I've been exchanging emails with my ex-wife, Diane. We've only
exchanged 2 emails actually. It's pleasant to talk to her after
all these years.
2010-01-14: It was a
weird day. I'm not really certain why. §
Here's some interesting links I've been reading... The Mars rover,
Spirit is on it's
last legs. It looks like the shuttle dudes are having a
bit of fun.
Nikola Tesla is becoming known by more people than just me.
Here's a couple of
satellite photos of Haiti. They are studying
at Texas Tech.
2010-01-13: I'm getting a
new laptop at the office but its a complete hassle. I have to pack
my old one up and ship it to "Laptop-Central" where the dude will call
me and ask for my password when he needs to fire it up. Then he
configures everything, restores all my stuff and ships it back.
While this happens... I have no laptop. He tells me "he knows its
a bit inconvenient." §
After being off for Christmas and flying my little helicopter around
I've found a little itch to dabble in some r/c stuff again. I've
been thinking a lot as well about working through the
certifications in High Powered Rocketry as well. Of course I
recognize this new interest in things. This happens sometimes and
in the past has caused me spend lots of money on things I never
use. This time I have a plan however. A prerequisite for me
to pursue either r/c plans or rocketry will be for me to finish my work
bench and clean up that garage.
2010-01-11: I've been
sick as a damn dog lately. I missed work all last week and today
wasn't much better except I was able to stay until 6pm. §
I got an email from Don with a cool link to
Yale University. They
have lectures that you can download.
Open Yale Courses.
2010-01-06: I got a
little r/c helicopter for Christmas this year. Then it got busted
up and it's not really that, its that it just doesnt really give me the
degree of control I want. So I talked to Don and he sent me this
2010-01-05: I've not been
doing much lately. Monday I spent most of the day the E.R. I
thought that maybe my
Pancreatitis was flaring back up. The blood tests came back
negative. I'll spend another day in bed tomorrow.
2009-12-31: Marilyn and
Dawn are both coming to the house tomorrow. Dawn from West Texas
and Marilyn from South Ft. Worth. I think only dawn will spend the
We were very lazy and did nothing today. It was so damn sweet. §
I've spent a bit of time flying my helicopter around in this big living
room. It was very fun. §
I don't know that I said much about it, but me and cat, on our
adventures this Christmas, have been listing to this book on CD called
"Dog On It". lol It's a flipping cool story. I
can't say much more about it just now and I don't know if I'll ever pick
up the thread again so my advice is if you want to read something fun,
pick that up. That person writes exactly like a dog thinks.
(Night nite. Happy new year to all...)
2009-12-30: One more day
of this year to go. I'm usually glad to see the old year come to
an end, and this one is no exception. Its much more fun to think
about the days to come. §
I don't really have much to say. Today was a relaxing, calm day
and not much happened. That's what I desire.
2009-12-29: Home now.
It was an adventure.
The boy's beat washington. §
I finally got to chat with spooky a bit tonight. She had a
2009-12-26: We slept late
this morning and went to eat at La Bodega for a late lunch. There
was a girl and her son in front of us that told the old man (that owns
the restaurant), "You probably, don't remember but used to work for you
30 years ago. My son here was 4 years old and now he's 34."
It was pretty cool. Cat talked to him later and asked when he started
the bidness and he said he did it in 1971.
Tonight we went over to Tony and Cheri's. It was such a nice time.
We walked in the door, flopped down at the kitchen table and just talked
for 3 hours. Michael was there and loaned me a book that he
thought I might like. That very seldom happens to me.
Stephenson. We'll see but that book doesn't seem like the sort
of stuff that I read.
Christmas! We're in Midland. We got here about 2 this
afternoon. I-20 was fine and we had no problems driving in.
It was cold though. I got an r/c helicopter and I've been flying
it around so much tonight that the pups are too scared to be in the room
with us. Ike got his nose caught in the helicopter rotor and now
thinks it is Diablo. Nice to be home. Merry Christmas to all my
friends and My loves!
Christmas Eve. We are stuck in Abilene Texas. Texas had a
bit of a blizzard today. We got up this morning, packed and was on
the west side of Ft. Worth before noon. Cat was driving and I fell
asleep for a bit. When I woke up it was snowing bad and the
windshield wipers wouldn't scour. Traffic was at a standstill on
I-20 west of Eastland and we sat as they cleared a truck that had
jackknifed. I think we sat for about 3 hours just inching forward
a bit from time to time. When we finally got to Cisco, we stopped at a
dairy queen that was actually closed but they were letting people use
their bathroom. Damn it was a mess. I-20 was not moving at
all so we made the decision to drive from Cisco to Cross Plains.
So we drove south about 30 miles to this little town in an attempt to
avoid I-20 between Cisco and Abilene. That was a freaky drive.
Lots of cars off the road. The snow was only on the south side of
the trees but there was a lot of snow on the ground. Between Cross
Plains and Abilene we saw a truck or car that was upside down in
the ditch. The DPS dudes were there. It was after dark by
the time we got to Abilene. I got us some subway for supper and
now we're in a Days-Inn kicking back and reliving the weirdness of the
day; Me, Cathy, Isaac, and Isabelle.
2009-12-22: I am off.
I mean I don't have to go back to work for a loong time; like until
January the 5th! Don't expect any good posts here for the next few
days because I'm kicking back and doing nothing.
2009-12-21: Well, it's
been a nice day.
Don and Ana got home from Mexico okay over the
weekend, and I've upgraded these laptops to Win 7. (They seem to
work fairly well actually. It surprises me.)
I copied all of my personal files from my old laptop to this
one although I can't find to where I copied it. Actually I did
found it earlier tonight but everything is in a new place now; I had to
make some compromises as to how I would name the place I was copying to.
Tomorrow I will struggle to find it again.
2009-12-20: Last night
before we went to bed, we upgraded our laptops to Windows 7. It
went pretty smooth. I think we've got the problems with 2ndLife
I think as far as upgrading to a new OS it's gone well. As long as
my FTP program still works so I can update this website. §
I've started re-reading the
Crazy Horse book.
For Christmas, I gave the girls at the office that
book I just finished about the old Indian man. I want to send
that same book to spooky but its getting late. She gets the one I
read :-) This new laptop doesn't have all of my files and I don't
have her address at hand. I have to look on my old laptop (I'm
copying the hard drive now as I type this.) for that and its one of
those things I can see that I'm going to slip on. It gets wrapped
tomorrow and goes in the mail Tuesday. I promise!
2009-12-19: Don wrote
something that I thought was cool. He said "I like to watch the
sun rise and the sun set. I like to think of it as my way of
honoring the day." I've watched lots of sunrises and sunsets but
never really thought of it like that. I should pay much more
attention to the important things in life.
2009-12-17: So I played
around just a bit with C++ Builder 2010. It seem to work well.
Maybe I'll write my 3d rotation program so I can figure out how to do
graphics in this version of C++.
2009-12-16: That book I
just finished about the old Indian man and the writer guy was incredibly
good. One of the reasons I love physics is because of the
incredibly precise statements and logical thoughts that come from those
guys trying to explain what they are doing. That aspect is as
interesting as the physics itself to me. That's probably why I'm
not a physicist. The concepts explained by "Dan" are as complex
yet simple as can be. Its like being on the leading-edge of the
2009-12-15: I guess one
of the big problems I had in the hospital was the fact that I didn't
sleep at all that first night. The doc told me I was getting out the
next day so I sat around all day waiting for him to come by and release
me. Every hour I picked up the little breathing thing that
probably cost 100 bucks, and worked on my lung functions knowing that my
doc would listen to me before he'd let me out. I wanted to make
sure my lungs were working perfectly. I'm 48 years old and I've
spent 48 years manipulating my life in a manner such that now I enjoy
everything about it. When I get trapped in some situation that
destroys all of the influence I have upon my own life it upsets me and
that's what was happening to me. About 7 or 8 o'clock I started
thinking he wasn't going to show up and let me go home. I asked
the nurse, "What's the latest you've ever seen him release someone?"
She said as late as 11pm. That gave me a glimmer of hope. I
didn't get out until about 4 the next day.
I'm tired of talking about the gut surgery.
2009-12-14: It's hard for
me to keep telling the story about the hospital visit. I just want
to forget about it. I'm feeling better btw. I think maybe that doc fixed
me but it still seems a bit early. I'm still having pain but I
can't separate the original pain from the new pain that's there now from
the procedure. It'll fade and I'll know soon enough if all this
was worth it.
The next morning I watched the
number and frequency of photons entering my room increase as the sun
came up. I'd gotten up a couple of times during the night and
found that I'd been catheterized at some point during my procedure and
just what a pain such a thing causes. No one had said anything
about that happening however but looking back I should have known that
would happen. I just never thought about it. I've definitely
never felt that "pissing razorblades" pain before and it would have been
nice to have had a warning. That's when I started noticing that
there were things I wished someone would have talked to me about
post-op. I didn't really have much memory of the events of the
prior day. The sun was coming up and all I really noticed was this
"hisssss, chooooo, sssssssss (quiet.....) hisssss,
chooooo, sssssssss (quiet.....)'' from those tubes wrapped around my
legs, now entangled irreparably in my sheets. Its funny because 30
hours after I'd been there one of the nurses made it a point to tell me
not to get out of my bed; that I should call and ask for assistance.
I told her I'd been out of my bed several times throughout the day and
me saying that seemed to upset her somehow. I was pissed off
because the way they had handcuffed me pretty much prevented me from
reaching the bathroom. The bathroom is on the left. My right hand
is tethered by a pulse-ox monitor attached to my right index finger.
In the top of my right hand an IV going into one of those
contraptions which has been placed on the right side of my bed
defines my range of motion. Even meals were a hassle there.
Meals didn't just show up like every other time I've been in the
hospital. You had to remember to "order" your food or you'd go
without. In the end it absolutely pissed me
off when after I finally started complaining about the 1 or 2 things I
actually bitched about, that from that point every person that came in
my room was hyper-aware of my "I's and O's" and whether my bed rails
were raised or not. Prior to my complaints no one thought of those
things and those things were the least important to me. (Strike 2)
2009-12-13: I'm home from
the hospital. It was a terrible ordeal; one which will take
me some time to ponder in order to truly understand what all happened.
It was ironically strange. We got to the hospital at 6am last
Wednesday, they took us back to the pre-op area and I got into my gown.
The chick that was starting the IV asked if I was left or right handed.
I answered "right" and she preceded to put that IV in my right wrist.
Later I'd be tethered most uncomfortably by both an IV and a pulse-ox
sensor attached to my right hand.
(Strike 1) =>
I don't remember much about the procedure. In fact I don't
remember much after leaving cat. Those drugs they gave me did
their job and I'm glad off it. The next memory I have is waking up
in my hospital room. Cat was there and told me that everything
went pretty well. I remember her at that time as a mysterious
memory. You know how it is when you get out of surgery? No?
I didn't either. This was my first time really. I just
wanted to go to sleep and wake up and not to have to deal with
anything. The problem was, I didn't sleep at all that first night
after the procedure. =>
So here's the situation. Like lots of other nights in my life, I'm
not sleeping and I'm bored and I hurt and so as often as I can I pick up the
the circa 1980 hospital bed communication device that not only serves as
a communicator to the nursing station but also controls 2 functions of
the bed positioning, and call to request the most amount of drugs
(Morphine) I can possibly have. I have leggings on and they
squeeze my legs rhythmically so that I don't throw off any blood-clots.
Of course 30 years ago they didn't realize yet that
having this, "hisssss, chooooo, sssssssss (quiet.....) hisssss,
chooooo, sssssssss (quiet.....)'' could possibly harm the ability for
someone to sleep. However, someone did (and I bet after 1980),
convince this hospital that if they were to play wonderfully soft
happy-music at each and every 1/2-hour in order to mark the passage of
time, it would be beneficial to the patient. So every 30 minutes
while I was rolling around in agony, I got a chance to listen to the
first 30 seconds of the most childlike/"Oh we don't want them to be
offended by playing a real version of the song." compromise of
Brahms Lullaby. §
I finally finished that book while I was in the hospital. That
Kent Nerburn book,
Neither Dog Nor Wolf is one of the most thought provoking things I
have ever read. Last night when I went to bed I had the last 30
pages to finish reading. I later woke up and had some late
night "visions". Thanks Kent.
Pearl Harbor Day went by with out me even realizing it. Dammit.
We should all remember those times and for some reason I like to review
that history. §
I was busy with the DAU repackaging which I finished tonight.
There was a bit of worry for a while that I wouldnt be able to get the
new libraries from that remote server because the
FTP program I was using gave me some bogus error about an object
name with a dash in it. I downloaded a new
FTP program and it didn't give me the bogus error message. I
think everything is pretty much finished. At least the part on the
IBM server is done. §
Tomorrow is the morning I get holes poked in me to fix my Hiatal Herina.
I should get some good drugs tomorrow. You should be jealous.
2009-12-07: I worked most
of the evening on DAU. I broke it for a while because of how
I was doing the libraries. But I got it working and started take
screen shots for the documentation. Its close to being finished.
I'll do the final repackage and download the object libraries tomorrow.
I even tested my install and uninstall programs and they seem to work.
Damn I wish I had a few more days though. §
Cat and I have been playing around in
pretty cool to me because I love the graphics. You may recall I've
written some programs that do the 3d rotational math that is very
similar to what's being done on SL. Plus its rather erotic there.
I like erotic. lol SL is super graphics intensive and my brand-new
HP super-duper laptop is not as fast as cat's brand-new HP super-duper
laptop. We got diff laptops and hers is much better at the
graphics stuff than mine.
2009-12-05: I worked on
DAU for a few hours today. It's going a bit slower than I would
like; mostly because I've been lazy and stayed up too late with cat.
Have I said that I love her dearly lately? We have such a brilliant time
We bought a Christmas tree today. It's a little tree in a pot that
is alive and we (that means cat) will take care of it. We've going
to decorate it tomorrow. It's been many years since we've had
2009-12-03: I tested for
about 4 hours today. Everything seems to be working. I'm
going to change the name of it however. The old i5 name has sort
of slipped away and IBM calls that box the System i. So I'll call
it DAU/i Version 3.6. I started updating the user manual. I
still need to get new screen shots for everything in the manual.
That might take a while. I'll try to finish that tomorrow.
2009-12-02: I was lazy
today and didn't work on DAU. I had other things to do and the
project seems to be going well. I'll do 8 hours on it tomorrow. §
Everyone keeps asking what I want for Christmas. I can't think of
a thing. Its not that I have everything. I'm just not
interested in much these days so I have nothing that I desire. I
want the complete
Feynman's Lectures on Physics. Cat is getting me a little r/c
helicopter. I've been wanting one for years.
2009-12-01: DAU/i version
3.6 is up and running! I had to make some changes and I think I
will make even more tomorrow but it's nice to have it running.
I've still got lots and lots of testing to do so hopefully I'll finished
my changes tomorrow and then I can use the rest of the week for testing. §
I'm going in tomorrow for my pre-op tests for my gut surgery. That
should be interesting.